I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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