Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
