Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
