yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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