Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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