Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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