Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
