Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
