it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
