I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
