He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
