im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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