But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
ttyl tear gas
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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