Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
