dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
