im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
