put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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