He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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