i think i have herpe
just one?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
