im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
