My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
where are my eyebrows?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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