woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The struggles of a small town man whore
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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