You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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