She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
