Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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