She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
