I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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