So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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