I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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