Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
