Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
