I bet he comes in French.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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