I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
