What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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