It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
