...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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