this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
