If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
