He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
