I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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