just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
