You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We had sex on a dog bed..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
