woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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