Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
