he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
