Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
