just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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