We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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