sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
