I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
